Best places to meet a long term partner?

A friend of mine moved to Melbourne earlier in the week and she asked me “Where are the best places to meet nice guys?” Now her and I have something in common in that we hate nightclubs (where groups huddle for 4 hours before dispersing 3 minutes before the lights go on), so I thought this was a worthy question. Naturally there are old favourites like Frost Bites in South Yarra, and the Elephant & Wheelbarrow in St Kilda which have provided lip smacking fun through the years. Sadly the Depot has closed which always brought a smile to my face, as did the Circuit in North Fitzroy which were turned into apartments. So what’s your opinion folks?

Our TOP 4 Kebabs

. 1.Amasya Kebab House, 134 Nicholson St, Footscray. Simple, tasty and comes with a variety of sauces. 2. Lamb’s on Chapel. 394 Chapel St, South Yarra. Most can’t remember being here. Deserves to have more sober patrons. 3. Souvlaki Bar, 163 Russell Street. City. One of the first in Melbourne. Still is up there and a great way to finish the night. 4. Lambs on Brunswick, 314 Brunswick St. Get them to wrap your kebab in a lamb pizza for the ultimate alcohol mopper.

Best pubs to watch sport on TV?

In an era where Telstra Dome games are sold out before tickets are even for sale, tens of thousands of supporters are opting to watch their beloved teams in pubs which show the games. What are the best places to do this around your area?

OUR TOP 3

1. The London Tavern – Richmond

The meca for footy and cricket lovers, with an unmatched beer garden. Too bad the beer is pretty pricey though.

2. The Rose – Fitzroy

Old Fitzroy Football Club haunt that has a very cosy feel. Also the desired place for West Australians to watch their derby.

3. The Napier – Fitzroy

Their classic front bar is full of memorabilia and with a good selection of craft beers on tap, this is our winter’s night fav.

Best Petrol Station Food After Midnight

What is the best petrol station food to eat at the the end of the night.

The chicken roll

The leader of the pack. The person that invented this must own their own island such popularity of the Chicken warning may contain traces of nut Roll. While we don’t like to wait for food at anytime, the 2 minutes and 30 seconds on high needed to make this sumptuous temptation just flies by as we sincerely ask the petrol store attendant if he/she has indeed had “a good night mate?” The roll itself is volcano temperature and as limp as a jelly fish, but it tastes like it should – 93% mayonnaise, 2% sugary roll, 2% chicken and 3% unknown. The adventurous may choose its brother, the Satay Chicken Roll, which is almost identical, though does not contain any trace of nut.

All in one Nachos

The IKEA of the pack. While the many compartments and tight packaging may confuse the intoxicated buyer, the all in one nacho box, is like an all entertaining chemistry set for drunk people. There is the little compartment of tongue piercing corn chips, and several other sachets and Some choose not to put it in the microwave but prefer their fake cheese and watery salsa at room temperature. Guaranteed to have an impact on the following day’s laundry.

The Lamb Souvlaki

The Cinderella of the pack. In the day time, people squirm at the thought of it. Why would you eat this processed, stringy microwave lamb kebab when a souva shop could equally make one just as stringy and dodgy? Yet when the clock strikes 2.43am, nature takes hold and this 4 degree wonder must be eaten. Those showing unusual foresight will buy more to put in their own freezer.

The Petrol Hotdog

Those chewy bits of god knows what sit for weeks in the steamy steel tin at your local petrol station. They taste good but nothing is worse than waking up the next morning with hotdog breath.

New Happy Hours on Home Page

Every friday we will post the weeks new happy hours on www.thehappiesthour.com hompage.

It just makes sense!

ST PATRICKS DAY VENUES

St Patrick’s Day isn’t exactly a tightarse favourite. Usually the drinks are overpriced, lines to the bar and toilets are long, and rarely is there a happy hour to be found. However saying that, the day provides the perfect opportunity to binge drink on a school/work night, be completely and communally stupid and exaggerate your Irish family tree. Overall it’s a good day to be sure, to be sure. Below are some options (click the links to see their St Patties Plans).

The Dan O’Connell, 225 Canning St, Carlton.

Easily the most festive of choices where thousands come and take over the park in front of the pub. Great atmosphere with bands, boys and babes, though the drink prices are way too high, and if you line up now you might reach the bar by Easter.

The Corkman Irish Pub, 160 Leister St, Carlton.

Hidden backstreet pub, known mainly to the Melbourne Uni students that fail nearby. If you’re after a little nook that won’t be overrun by crowds, but has entertainment and prizes, then this is your best bet.

The Quiet Man Pub, 271 Racecourse Rd, Flemington.

A saviour for those that live in the West, this well managed pub certainly has a bit of craic to it. It’s guaranteed to get a crowd so get their early.

Father Flanigans, 484 Smith St, Collingwood.

Pretty much ignored all year round despite having some of the best food specials in town (how about those $5 parmas), Flanigans comes alive on St Patties day, and is worth going back to on other days as well.

The Clifton Hill Hotel, 89 Queens Parade, Clifton Hill.

Doesn’t advertise it much, but the Clifton is the home away from home to many Irish expats who love their Gaelic football. Add a good spacious interior, Irish bands and good location, you’ll find that the Clifton punches above its weight.

Limerick Hotel, 364 Clarendon St, South Melbourne.

A local favourite which hasn’t gone down the “South of the Yarra – Sydney’s newest district” just yet. Easily the best option in the area and has the runs on the board with cracking past St Patties.

Bridie O’Reillys, 62 Little Collins St, CBD.

Cosy CBD laneway pub that attracts the suits within a 200 metres radius. Will put on heaps of entertainment throughout the day.

Bridie O’Reillys, 463 Chapell St, South Yarra.

Seems kinda wrong that an Irish bar would be on Chapel St, but Bridie’s has been an unpretentious oasis for all those that can’t starch their collars enough or wear Paris Hilton sunglasses. Live music from noon.

Bridie O’Reillys, 29 Sydney Rd, Brunswick.

Arguably the best of all the Bridies, this one offers a great outdoor area and a reputation for “picking up” – whatever that means.

PJ O’Briens, Southbank.

Despite the homogenised Southbank location, this dark shopping centre type pub actually creates a great atmosphere where sobriety is frowned upon. Prizes and music.

Pugg Mahone, 106 Hardware St, CBD.

The pick of the CBD pubs. When they close down the lane, put up some marquees and let the beer flow, backpackers from all around will converge and start being festive. A good chance to meet real Irish people.

Irish Times, 427 Little Collins St, CBD.

If I did better at school and got a higher TER I might be one of those smartly dressed workers that come here and buy pints with $100 dollar notes. More of a restaurant, if they clear away some tables I’m sure this could be worth a look in.

Pugg Mahones, 175 Elgin St, Carlton.

Popular place that has a comfy booth ridden area downstairs but ample room to party upstairs. Attracts the younger student crowd that like to party and swap spit.

WRITE BELOW IF YOU FIND ANY OTHER OPTIONS

BLAST FROM THE PAST

Thanks to Rob who sent us this pub crawl around Richmond. It might be old and some of the stops have changed names but it’s still very usable.

 

Media Page now online

We’ve collected some of the articles that have featured us over the years and put them up on TheHappiestHour’s media page. 

 

Click here to see!

The 2008 Happi Award Winners!

YOUR VOTES ARE IN !

 

Best Tightarse Venue – The Public Bar (238 Victoria St, North Melbourne).

The people have spoken. For as long as we can remember, a Monday night at North Melbourne’s Public Bar has been a lesson in tightarse debauchery. With $1 pots all night (small entry fee) and horny backpackers, it’s no surprise this took out the main prize. Runners up:  All Nations Bar, John Curtin Hotel, Pugg Mahones (City).

Best place to find a short term partner – PJ O’Brien’s (Southbank)

Perhaps it’s the fact that there are no windows and it’s always quite dark (meaning everyone looks ok) that if you’re in need of some quick lovin’, try your luck at PJs. Friday nights after work seems to be the ideal moment of contact and we have even heard a few reports that some people rent apartments in Southbank just so they can be close by. Runners up: Elephant and Wheelbarrow (St Kilda), The Lounge. 

 

The best place to find a long term partner – Polly (401 Brunswick St, Fitzroy)

A surprising winner but upon inspection we can see why. A chilled interior with big brown leather couches, a long bar perfect for quiet conversations, and an outdoor smoking area (called the Peacock Room) dotted with ferns and a water fountain, all provide the perfect backdrop to meeting that someone special. Polly is a cracker. Runners up: James Squire Brewhouse (Docklands), Panama Dining Room.

 

Melbourne’s dodgiest venue - Icon Bar (125 Flinders Lane)

We love dodgy venues, but to be honest, thehappiesthour team have never been to Icon so we can’t comment. If you know why it won the award write a comment and explain. Runners up: Revolver, The Joint. 

Venue filled with the most tossers? – Transport (Fed Square)

After work suits talking loudly about their promotions while sipping the latest cool spirit seems to be the norm at Transport, yet ironically it gets an equal blend of outer suburban bogans not wanting to lose eye contact with Flinders St Station (the only landmark they know). Runners up: Anywhere in Crown. 

Best Parma – Keeper’s Arms (351 Queensberry St, Nth Melbourne)

It was close but the Keeper’s came away with the biscuits. Good no nonsense local pub with an array of parma options (Italian, Hawaiian)  up on the board. Good bird, good ham, good chips, good time. For those that are really hungry try the double parma, with two schnitzels. Runners up: Palmerston Hotel. 

 

Best Souva – Lambs on Brunswick (314 Brunswick st, Fitzroy)

There are a few in the area, but obviously our members know the real deal. With a few tables, friendly service and constant stream of drunks someone should  really make it into a pay tv reality show.  Their lamb meat pizza is also a highlight and perfect to mop up the beer in your belly. Runners Up: Souvalki King, Lambs on Chapel.

Best Beer Garden – Belgium Beer Cafe (557 St Kilda Rd, Melbourne)

The Retreat Hotel has been dethroned after two years at the top! Perhaps the cool Sunday jazz sessions got them over the line, though the sprawling lawn and historic surrounds is worthy in its own right. Runners up: Retreat Hotel, The Standard Hotel.

Most Expensive Beer – Beer DeLux (Fed Square)

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Beer DeLux has the most expensive beer because it has some of the best beers around the world. Some beers go up to $30 but local microbrew stubbies hover around $7-$8 which is what a lot of pubs are charging anyway now. Runners up: Anywhere on Chapel St. 

Lemons leave a bitter taste in mouth

In last weeks newsletter we had the following idea. 

 

We are thinking about adding a page to our website called “Lemon Watch”. Basically we will have a map of Melbourne’s inner suburbs, identifying where lemon trees hang over backyard fences. We think it’s genius.

 

In today’s HeraldSun this appeared below

 

Thoughts people?

We discussed the idea on 3AW this morning for people with too many lemons to handle, to put them in a basket out the front of their house. Just let us know and we can start creating the LEMON MAP!

LETS GET THE COUNTRY SPIRIT BACK IN INNER CITY MELBOURNE