St Patrick’s Day isn’t exactly a tightarse favourite. Usually the drinks are overpriced, lines to the bar and toilets are long, and rarely is there a happy hour to be found. However saying that, the day provides the perfect opportunity to binge drink on a school/work night, be completely and communally stupid and exaggerate your Irish family tree. Overall it’s a good day to be sure, to be sure. Below are some options (click the links to see their St Patties Plans).

The Dan O’Connell, 225 Canning St, Carlton.

Easily the most festive of choices where thousands come and take over the park in front of the pub. Great atmosphere with bands, boys and babes, though the drink prices are way too high, and if you line up now you might reach the bar by Easter.

The Corkman Irish Pub, 160 Leister St, Carlton.

Hidden backstreet pub, known mainly to the Melbourne Uni students that fail nearby. If you’re after a little nook that won’t be overrun by crowds, but has entertainment and prizes, then this is your best bet.

The Quiet Man Pub, 271 Racecourse Rd, Flemington.

A saviour for those that live in the West, this well managed pub certainly has a bit of craic to it. It’s guaranteed to get a crowd so get their early.

The Clifton Hill Hotel, 89 Queens Parade, Clifton Hill.

Doesn’t advertise it much, but the Clifton is the home away from home to many Irish expats who love their Gaelic football. Add a good spacious interior, Irish bands and good location, you’ll find that the Clifton punches above its weight.

Limerick Hotel, 364 Clarendon St, South Melbourne.

A local favourite which hasn’t gone down the “South of the Yarra – Sydney’s newest district” just yet. Easily the best option in the area and has the runs on the board with cracking past St Patties.

Bridie O’Reillys, 62 Little Collins St, CBD.

Cosy CBD laneway pub that attracts the suits within a 200 metres radius. Will put on heaps of entertainment throughout the day.

Bridie O’Reillys, 463 Chapell St, South Yarra.

Seems kinda wrong that an Irish bar would be on Chapel St, but Bridie’s has been an unpretentious oasis for all those that can’t starch their collars enough or wear Paris Hilton sunglasses. Live music from noon.

Bridie O’Reillys, 29 Sydney Rd, Brunswick.

Arguably the best of all the Bridies, this one offers a great outdoor area and a reputation for “picking up” – whatever that means.

PJ O’Briens, Southbank.

Despite the homogenised Southbank location, this dark shopping centre type pub actually creates a great atmosphere where sobriety is frowned upon. Prizes and music.

Pugg Mahone, 106 Hardware St, CBD.

The pick of the CBD pubs. When they close down the lane, put up some marquees and let the beer flow, backpackers from all around will converge and start being festive. A good chance to meet real Irish people.

Irish Times, 427 Little Collins St, CBD.

If I did better at school and got a higher TER I might be one of those smartly dressed workers that come here and buy pints with $100 dollar notes. More of a restaurant, if they clear away some tables I’m sure this could be worth a look in.

Pugg Mahones, 175 Elgin St, Carlton.

Popular place that has a comfy booth ridden area downstairs but ample room to party upstairs. Attracts the younger student crowd that like to party and swap spit.




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Where: Worker’s Club (Fitzroy)
Why: $8 pie and pint deal & 2 big screens.

Where: Dan O’Connell Hotel (Carlton)
Why: Giveaways, footy food menu,  and the famous longest kick comp, hosted by Adam Bandt.

Where: Perseverance Hotel (Fitzroy)
Why: $12 jugs throughout the game.

Where: Katuk (South Yarra)
Why: $8 Jugs (Boags), $4 Wine/Sparkling, $4 Mystery Shots, $9 GF Cocktails, $1 sausage rolls, $2 homemade pies,$4 wedges.

Where: Maeve Fox (Richmond)
Why: $8 Jugs (Boags), $4 Wine/Sparkling, $4 Mystery Shots, $9 GF Cocktails, $1 sausage rolls, $2 homemade pies,$4 wedges.

Where: European Bier Café
Why: Free Finger Food b4 game. 12pm-2pm, 5pm-7pm – $3.50 stellas, $4 wines, $6 house spirits.

Where: John Curtin Hotel (Carlton)
Why: 3 big screens, free sausage sizzle and bbq. Half time and full time performances from The Toot Toots Toots. Sweeps: First Goal, Winning Margin.

Where: Gertrude Hotel (Fitzroy)
Why: $15 jugs of Coopers during game, footy menu

Where: Pugg Mahones (Carlton)
Why: 2 big screens, $2.50 pots of draught each qrt until first goal is scored. Free fingerfood at halftime.

Where: Mrs Parmas (City)
Why: $4 pots and $8 pints of Grand Ridge Beer – all day.

Where: Birmingham Hotel (Fitzroy)
Why: Big projection screen then bands after game.

Where: labour in Vain (Fitzroy)
Why: $6 Bloody mary’s, Hot pies and sausage rolls on menu and GF sweep.

Where: Leveson Hotel (North Melbourne)
Why: VIP tickets are available for $120 and include canapes all day, basic spirits, beer, wine and soft drink from 12-5pm.

Where: Grace Darling Hotel (Collingwood)
Why: BBQ, Big Screen, and hot pies.

Where: Watermark Hotel (Docklands)
Why: Huge projector screens & plasmas, FREE DRINKS from first bounce until first goal (house red, white sparkling & Boag’s draught), Snags burgers on the BBQ in the beer garden Prizes and giveaways throughout the day, $5 Pre Booked $10 at the door.

Where: Exchange Hotel (Port Melbourne)
Why: Upstairs, Big Screen TV, with grazing bbq for 3 hours. Glass of wine, sparkling or pint of beer on arrival. Tix cost $45.

Where: Elephant and Wheelbarrow (St Kilda)
Why: 5 Big Screens and Footy Menu Available.

Where: Young and Jackson (City)
Why: Rooftop BBQ.


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It’s a bit of a trend these days, that instead of going to a pub and having to fork out $3.50 plus for a pot of beer, people are heading to mainly cheapo Asian restaurants because they sell stubbies for a good price (around $3-$3.50). Where are some of these restaurants?



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Best places to break up?

Last month we did the best places to “meet long term partners”, so it makes sense to find the opposite. Now breaking up is a hard, gut wrenching, chocolate/beer inducing tormoil, but sometimes the landscape in which you do (or receive it) can makes things easier.

So where is the best place to break up?



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There’s a beer in there

It’s a dark and stormy Thursday night and you feel like a beer. But not just any beer. Perhaps one from Argentina or Bolivia or French Canada. But where do you go?

What Melbourne venue has the best assortment of beer?

1. Lambs Go Bar – 135 Greeves ST, Fitzroy.

2. Beer DeLux – Federation Square.

3. European Bier Cafe – 120 Exhibition St, CBD.

4. Belgian Beer Cafe – ST Kilda Rd.

5. Stolberg Beer Cafe – 197 Plenty Rd, Preston.



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Best places to meet a long term partner?

A friend of mine moved to Melbourne earlier in the week and she asked me “Where are the best places to meet nice guys?” Now her and I have something in common in that we hate nightclubs (where groups huddle for 4 hours before dispersing 3 minutes before the lights go on), so I thought this was a worthy question. Naturally there are old favourites like Frost Bites in South Yarra, and the Elephant & Wheelbarrow in St Kilda which have provided lip smacking fun through the years. Sadly the Depot has closed which always brought a smile to my face, as did the Circuit in North Fitzroy which were turned into apartments. So what’s your opinion folks?



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Our TOP 4 Kebabs


1.Amasya Kebab House, 134 Nicholson St, Footscray.
Simple, tasty and comes with a variety of sauces.

2. Lamb’s on Chapel. 394 Chapel St, South Yarra.
Most can’t remember being here. Deserves to have more sober patrons.

3. Souvlaki Bar, 163 Russell Street. City.
One of the first in Melbourne. Still is up there and a great way to finish the night.

4. Lambs on Brunswick, 314 Brunswick St.
Get them to wrap your kebab in a lamb pizza for the ultimate alcohol mopper.


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